WR… and do what we have to do.

Women are amazing. We know that, and watching the struggle in Ukraine has emphasized that fact 100 fold! What would you do? Stay and fight? Flee with your children? I believe we would all do whatever was right for those around us. That’s what women do.

What’s happening in the Ukraine made me think about the women in my life who have influenced my strength and fierce independence. Immediately I thought of my paternal grandmother Anna. Born in 1913 in the Ukraine, she and her husband fled a repressed Ukraine and landed in the USA. Soon after they started to build a new life and welcomed three beautiful baby boys into the world, her husband died suddenly at the age of 38.

Anna was now a woman in a foreign country, not yet able to speak the language with only 1 year of schooling under her belt, tasked with raising three boys under the age of 5 on her own. What did she do? She did whatever she needed to do.

My grandmother and grandfather had secured a mortgage on the tenement building where they lived. She was now a landlord - thrown into self employment before it became a buzzword. She ran that building like a tight ship. If something broke, she had it immediately fixed. The yard was kept spit spot clean. You could smell home cooked meals every day and would see crisp white linens drying on the clothesline.

Anna could sew and quickly became the neighborhood seamstress, mending, washing and ironing the few clothes most people owned, determined to keep them clean, well mended and pressed. Her boys were always well dressed. Later in life, one bolt of fabric and a determined grandmother had me and my siblings looking spiffier than the Von Trapp children. There was a fierce sense of pride that was obvious in her own family and the neighborhood of mostly immigrants. When her young boys returned from school each day, Anna would keep them company while they did homework. The boys thought she was helping when in fact she was having the boys teach her what they learned that day. Math, science and how to speak English. Little by little she educated herself.

Every Sunday they would walk to the Ukrainian church in their Sunday best. They would walk (never owned a car) to the grocery store to gather supplies for the feasts she would inevitably create for a sit down supper every Sunday afternoon. Anna could make one chicken last for 5 meals. Creative by necessity - amazing nonetheless. She never dated or remarried. It probably never occurred to her. She was committed to doing things on her own. My father became an educator and did his part for 35 years to educate the next generation. He made sure every 5th grader that came through his class knew their multiplication tables by heart as he simultaneously shared life lessons and bits of wisdom that his former students still thank him for today.

When I started to show signs of creativity I tested my skills at sewing. I tackled making my own prom dress (plaid taffeta!) and beamed with pride as I showed my grandmother. With barely a smile, she flipped the dress inside out and told me to redo the seams. They were messy and not perfect. Slightly crushed, as I was hoping for unconditional praise, Nana held the bar high and I was motivated and determined to meet it. Good was not good enough. These are the strong women who influenced and raised us. I hope you were, and are, lucky enough to have women who hold you to a higher standard, teach you to do what is right, fight for what is right and to take care of those around you at any cost. I hope you teach your daughters. Watching the women of Ukraine has been eye opening and a not so gentle reminder how very strong we are and can be when faced with unimaginable situations. Women are strong, women united are stronger!